her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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