I am puke
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
