My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You ate ashes out of my bong
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
