One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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