I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
