Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
