we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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