He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
