So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
