You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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