I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
