We're facebook friends in real life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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