Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
