I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
