I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
