god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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