Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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