If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
pray to the hookup gods
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
