Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
