absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
