he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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