Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
