so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
