He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
