There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
