420 ftw
i need an iv and a liver transplant
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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