You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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