im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
