I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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