I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
