In the future we'll all be gay
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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