ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
