It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
