I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
