found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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