I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
