I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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