well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
