when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
