I can tuck mytits in my pants
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
