that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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