there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
