Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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