So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
