He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
