If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
