dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There are leaves in my underwear?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
