Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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