I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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