so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
