u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
